Every-0nce-in-a-while I go back through my computer files … looking for an old illustration … or a photo … or something to move me off center in something I am trying to write.  And like the blind squirrel that finds a nut … I often ‘discover’ something I had forgotten about …

This is one such article … it is paraphrased … as I recall, from a longer article .  I do not know who wrote it … or when … perhaps the great Greek author Anonymous!  It is a straight-forward article … one I have used with couples on occasion … and will prayerfully be of benefit to the right people.  Here it is …


Having doubts about someone in your life?  There are all kinds of deal breakers out there, but if you spot one or more of these four red flags, it’s time to re-think your relationship … pray about it … and work on healing it.

1—They aren’t supportive.  Non-supportive traits include:

  • Making fun of or belittling your goals and ambitions in career or life
  • Making you feel guilty for spending time at work
  • Not helping around the house
  • Ignoring you in times of need or distress
  • Pressuring you into making life decisions

2—You can’t be yourself around them.  Are you playing a character of who you think they want to be with?  Not only does this perpetuate a relationship based on lies, it also can be detrimental to your emotional well-being.  The best partners are the ones who make you feel great in your own skin and who you can relax around.  If you reveal your true self to someone and they doesn’t appreciate your true colors, find someone who will.

3—They are a user.  You are not an ATM, a taxi driver, a cell phone provider, hotel or sex machine.  A real relationship consists of contributions from both sides — not just emotionally but also financially.  If you think they are taking advantage of your generosity, cut them loose.

4—They don’t get along with your friends and/or family.  Any person you are seriously considering also will most likely spend time with the people in your life who you care about.  While variety is the spice of life, if you find that your friends or family are getting into knock-down, drag-out fights, or they speak to them inappropriately or talks about them badly in public, despite your feelings, they do not belong in your life.