The motto at Mallie’s Sports Grill in Southgate, Michigan, is go big or go home. And they’ve proved they can put their meat where your mouth is by regularly smashing their own Guinness World Record for the biggest commercially available burger, their latest weighing in at a belt-popping 338 lbs. This bovine graveyard requires 72 hours to prepare and three people to flip. For $1,999 you can eat in or have an army of delivery boys haul it to your home.

Now … I wonder what beer to use to wash it down … and how many!