Since when are pajamas what you wear when shopping at Walmart?

In heavy traffic if one person is nice enough to let me in, I always allow one person in as well.

What’s with baseball caps that cover your ears?

Worry is a waste.

I think sour-creme raisin pie might just be my favorite!

A bird in the hand … makes blowing your nose difficult.

I could care less about All-Star games and professional draft days.

College baseball (while I love it), still sounds funny with those metal bats.

Why do I always seem to follow a sweaty person at the gym who does not wipe down the machines?

Why do I love Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives (and a few other food shows), but care nothing about cooking myself?

If all the people who every listened to one of my sermons were laid end-to-end … they’d be a whole lot more comfortable!

The best point in a sermon (some people think) … is the one that flies over your head and spears the person sitting behind you!

Recently I have met (and read about) people who argue over whether the Bible is the inspired and inerrant Word of God who have never actually read the Bible!

Why do we keep calling it the “mainstream” media?

If you carry a tool in your hand and walk fast, you can get out of a lot of work, and still make people think you are busy.

Never kiss a snake on the lips!

When people say, “Good sermon today pastor,” I often reply, “We’ll see!”

Some people worry all night and can’t sleep … maybe they forgot that God is awake all night and can handle anything.

Doing nothing fertilizes your worry and causes it to spread out of control.  Taking action is a weed-killer.

The saxophone is God’s instrument of choice.

When my grandson asks me how I know something, I always remind him that I have forgotten more than he will every know.

The best way to ruin a good beer is to “fruit it up.”

I am as Lutheran as Jesus!

He who laughs last is … slow.

There is probably more that I think I think … but that is all I can think of right now!