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Stuff From the Mind of Dr. Barry Kolb

Christ for India

For more than a decade I have been privileged to be part of Christ for India in a variety of ways.  3 times I have visited and taught and preached, for 6 years I served as Vice President for the Board of Directors, and for the past year as President of India Charities Foundation. (And at yesterday’s meeting I was asked to return to the Board after a year’s absence).

As a pastor I have been part of many ministries .. praying for … promoting … and funding.  Christ for India is at the top of the list.  Never have I seen so much done with so little funding.  God has indeed blessed them.  To give you a taste … please take the time to watch these videos:

http://www.vimeo.com/6972878

http://www.vimeo.com/6972887

http://www.vimeo.com/6972748

http://www.vimeo.com/6968427

Ascension Day — Did Jesus Leave?

May 17, Ascension of our Lord: Luke 24:44-­53

Luke reports Jesus’ ascension in two of his writings–in Luke 24:44-­53 and in Acts 1:1-­11.  In the first of these two passages, Jesus ascends on the evening of His day of resurrection.  In Acts 1:1-11, He ascends 40 days after His resurrection.  It is possible that the focus in the Acts narrative is that Jesus remains among His disciples for 40 days after His resurrection, even as God dwelt among His people for 40 years after the Exodus from Egypt.  During this 40-­day period, He equips them to perpetuate His ministry after He withdraws His visible presence from their midst.

When Jesus ascended, He did not withdraw His presence; He transformed it.  He remains among His brothers and sisters as the God-­Man–although invisibly.  His brothers and sisters live out life before His eyes and seek to make His presence visible by reflecting His servant lifestyle.  In the opening section of Acts (1:1-­11), Luke summarizes the source and extent of the apostles’ power as well as the basic truths that they are to preach and teach.

24:44, 45: The salvation achieved by Jesus the Servant Messiah fulfills, but transforms, all Old Testament expectations.  To understand and appreciate what Jesus taught and accomplished, we must be familiar with the Old Testament narrative, and the hopes that surface within it.  In instructing His disciples, Jesus made use of a large study guide: the Law, the Prophets, and the Psalms (Law: Genesis–Deuteronomy; Prophets: Joshua-­‐2 Kings, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Hosea–Malachi; Psalms).  The Hebrew books referred to as the Writings (Psalms was one of these) were accepted into the Jewish canon (collection of approved writings) during the years following A.D. 70.

24:46, 47: Jesus instructs His disciples concerning His death and resurrection.  They in turn are to proclaim Jesus’ message of the forgiveness of sins and salvation, not just to the genetic descendants of Abraham, but to all nations.  In the final chapter of Acts, Paul is proclaiming God’s Good News at the ends of the earth (as many in Judea would have understood that term)–in Rome!

24:48: The disciples had been witnesses of the things that took place in Jesus’ life and ministry.  That gave their message validity and authority.  They would proclaim what they had seen and heard–not a concocted story!

24:49: In his Gospel, Luke says nothing about the disciples returning to Galilee.  They are to remain in Jerusalem until Jesus sends to them what His Father had promised: the Holy Spirit.  The life of Jesus’ church will begin with the events of Pentecost–ten days after Jesus’ ascension (according to Luke’s time frame in Acts chs. 1,2).

In His discourses in John chs. 13-17, Jesus teaches that the Holy Spirit will take what is His and reveal it to His disciples (and eventually to us).  Behind this thought is the concept of methurgeman (an Aramaic term).  When the exiles began returning to Judah and Jerusalem in 538 B.C., they spoke Aramaic–not Hebrew.  However, in synagogues, rabbis had to read the scriptures in Hebrew, and preach in Hebrew.  So, an interpreter (methurgeman) stood beside the rabbi and translated into Aramaic what the rabbi read and said in Hebrew.  So too the Holy Spirit takes Jesus’ words and explains them to us. (Are we reading the Scriptures, the message of Jesus that the Holy Spirit wishes to explain to us?

24:50-53: It would seem from this narrative that Jesus’ ascension occurred on Easter Sunday evening.  The statement, “was carried up into heaven,” reflects Old Testament concepts of the sweet savor of sacrifice ascending toward heaven.  The ascension marked the end of Jesus’ post-resurrection appearances.  The apostles felt “great joy” because Jesus was more intimately present and more personally understood through the presence of His Spirit which He sent among them.  The narrative outlined in the third Gospel begins and ends in the Jerusalem Temple.  The little group of poor and lowly ones who in the beginning expected the savior of Israel (Luke chs. 1, 2) live on in the risen Jesus’ people of faith.

Thanks to my good friend of many years, Dr. Harry Wendt, for bringing this story to life.  For more, please use this as a great resource: Crossways

Long John Prophet … Avast!

OAK RIDGE, Tenn. — Sam Brobst took a “Learning Your Spiritual Gift” course at Full Life Center, a charismatic church, and felt the Lord leading him to prophesy during meetings. But when Brobst opened his mouth the first time, he and others were surprised by what came out: pirate speak.

“We were in the middle of worship, when this voice rings out, ‘Yar! Hear the word of the Lord — the Lord of the mighty seas!’” says one witness. ”It was straight out of a Disneyland ride.”

Brobst says he can’t help it: when the Spirit moves upon him, he clamps one eye shut and his voice becomes gravelly and menacing. On a recent Sunday, he prophesied, “Avast ye, mateys! Hear the word from our Cap’n: No fear have ye of storms and scallywags, says ye? Argh! But I be seein’ your true hearts. For I see below quarterdecks, says I. Ye be tremblin’ in the face of scurvy dogs. But pay them no heed. For I be preparin’ to pour down plenty o’ booty upon ye. So be of cheer, me hearties! Ye be loved of the Cap’n.”

The people of the church by now are accustomed to it, though first-time visitors often giggle.

“It doesn’t even sound like pirate to me anymore,” says one regular attendee. “My mind translates it.”

Others say it’s preferable to past prophetic styles they have witnessed.

“One woman would wail her prophecies,” says longtime member Darlene Bright. “Another man would thunder in a deep voice like he was trying to impress us. All in all, I prefer pirate.”

 

***Again…a little satire from Larknews***

Gibbs’ Rules

Since NCIS and NCIS Los Angeles ended their season last night with a “cliffhanger” and a “to be continued,” it seemed like a good time to post some updates to the list of rules Leroy Jethro Gibbs has … his code to live by!

Rule #1: Never let suspects stay together.

Rule #1: Never screw over your partner.

Rule #2: Always wear gloves at a crime scene.

Rule #3: Don’t believe what you’re told. Double check.

Rule #3: Never be unreachable.

Rule #4: The best way to keep a secret? Keep it to yourself. Second best? Tell one other person – if you must. There is no third best.

Rule #5: You don’t waste good.

Rule #6: Never say “You’re Sorry.” It’s a sign of weakness.

Rule #7: Always be specific when you lie.

Rule #8: Never take anything for granted.

Rule #9: Never go anywhere without a knife.

Rule #10: Never get personally involved in a case.

Rule #11: When the job is done, walk away.

Rule #12: Never date a co-worker.

Rule #13: Never, ever involve a lawyer.

Rule #15: Always work as a team.

Rule #16: If someone thinks they have the upper hand, break it.

Rule #18: It’s better to seek forgiveness than ask permission.

Rule #22: Never, ever bother Gibbs in interrogation.

Rule #23: Never mess with a Marine’s coffee… if you want to live.

Rule #27: There are two ways to follow someone. First way, they never notice you. Second way, they only notice you.

Rule #35: Always watch the watchers.

Rule #36: If you feel like you are being played, you probably are.

Rule #38: Your case, your lead.

Rule #39: There is no such thing as coincidence.

Rule #40: If it seems someone is out to get you, they are.

Rule #42: Never accept an apology from someone who just sucker punched you.

Rule #44: First things first, hide the women and children.

Rule #45: Clean up the mess that you make.

Rule #51: Sometimes – you’re wrong.

Rule #69: Never trust a woman who doesn’t trust her man.

Other Rules Heard on NCIS

In my country, on my team, working my cases, my people don’t bypass the chain of command.

The “Unspoken Rule” (Franks): You do what you have to do for family.

Don’t work the system when you can work the people.

Don’t stop checking and rechecking evidence until you are satisfied.

If you want to find something, you follow it. (Said by Gibbs to Mike Franks in “Deliverance,)

Besides Rule 13, Gibbs has 6 other rules involving lawyers, but, according to DiNozzo, “You only need to know number 13; it’s the umbrella one.”

Never second guess yourself in a relationship and life.

McGee has formed his own set of rules; #1 is Never Lie to Gibbs.

When DiNozzo was in charge, he made a set of rules. DiNozzo #3: Never underestimate your opponent.

Samuel Adams & Pizza

As those who read my “weekly” beer blog, you know that my supply has been diminished for a variety of reasons.  But not anymore … thanks to a local keeper of the adult beverages.

Thanks to this person I was able to assemble a bit of a sample pack Samuel Adams.  Tonight to top off my salad (yup…my token nod toward health) and pizza (sausage & mushroom), I have chosen the classic from their family of fine adult beverages … Samuel Adams Boston Lager!

While I do not own their special glass for drinking, I can tell you that drinking this from the bottle or any glass is a real treat to those of us who like their beer!  Here is what they say about their own brew: There’s nothing quite like the taste of Samuel Adams Boston Lager. We may be a bit biased but with its high amounts of flavorful Noble hops and malted barley in perfect balance, there are layers of complex flavors to enjoy.

And if you want a little more … watch this video.

 

 

 

A Little Knowledge Can Be a Dangerous Thing

The following questions and answers were collated from last year’s British GCSE exams, i.e., 16-year-olds!

Geography
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow toward the moon, because there is no water on the moon and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Sociology
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Biology
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A.]

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised (e.g.,abdomen)?
A: The body is consisted into three parts — the brainium, the borax, and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does varicose mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

Q: Give the meaning of the term Caesarean section.
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.

English
Q: Use the word judicious in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. [do dishes]

Q: What does the word benign mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Technology
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on their heads.

Advice to College Grads!

For the next couple of weeks, college graduates will don their robes and mortar boards and finally make that walk across the stage to receive a diploma. With all of the dire media reports about the lack of jobs, those of you who have a position lined up are the lucky ones.

Good for you.

Now, the work really begins.  Here’s a list to get you started:

  1. Do quality work. Crap will catch up with you quickly.
  2. Solve your own problems. Or management will.
  3. Be on time or early. Or your competition will.
  4. Put in the hours. “They” say it takes 10,000 hours to succeed at anything.
  5. Form relationships in your industry. Relationships are everything.
  6. Learn to write. LOL? No, really. Learn to write.
  7. Dress for the work you want. No one cares about your personal style.
  8. Know your strengths. And don’t be afraid to highlight them.
  9. Know your weaknesses. And fix them.
  10. Learn to speak. Like, you know.

You have a leg up on many. Print this list and carry it with you everywhere. Read it every morning. Tape it to the bathroom mirror. Put it on your iPad. Record it as a voice memo. You beat out many for a job, but it will take an incredible work ethic to keep that job and succeed.

Again, congratulations on your graduation and job. Now go take advantage of your situation and rock to the top!

Dayna Steele is a serial entrepreneur, speaker, and the author of of the forthcoming book 101 Ways to Rock Your World: Everyday Activities for Success Every Day. Follow her on Twitter @daynasteele. She went to college when she was 16 and had a really good time.

Sorry I Can’t Help You …

I just got off a long phone call with a young man who is almost done with his seminary education.  He has visited churches I have pastored over the years, and wanted to know today if I could teach him to preach the way I preach.

While I am flattered to a degree, I had to tell him, “No!”  He is not the first to ask that question, and I have answered the same each time.  I am unable to help someone preach like me … since I am the only me I know!

But … and there always seems to be a but … I can help them develop their own style!

When I was in the seminary (eons ago), I took several homiletic classes (how to preach).  In addition I had a sermon delivery class where I was trained to speak in stained glass tones and pronounce God this way, “Gaawwwd”.

This was well and good … if I wanted to preach like everyone else.  But early on in life I learned from a wise teacher that there was only one me and that I should just be the best me that God wired me up to be.

As I look back, I see that God wired me up with a certain amount of organizational ability (I think in outlines for the most part), I like to read (and read a lot and read very fast), I am good at redacting  (taking a variety of materials and pulling it all together), I love words … and of course I love His Word!  At heart, I am not a very pastoral person, but more of a teacher (and some would say, apostolic).  And surprise, surprise to some people, I am an introvert.

All of this is to say, you need to know who you are, how God wired you, your temperament, your spiritual giftedness, your basic personality, your background, the joys and sorrows, etc.

If you are a teacher … teach!

If you are “touchy-feel” … express your emotions … get close to people

If you are funny … be funny!

If you are a story teller … tell stories!

One of the “worst” mistakes I made when I first left the seminary, was to think the church needed another Ozzie Hoffman or Billy Graham … and after a while someone like John Maxwell or Bill Hybels.  It took just one conference about a year into my first church to reinforce the notion that I was none of these … nor should I be.  As best as I remember the conference speaker said:

 

“Discover your God-given spiritual gifts, personal style, and ministry passion for serving in and through the body of Christ. As a result, you will be equipped to fulfill God’s purposes … having a greater ministry enthusiasm and impact … serving with more affirmation, love and commitment … competently using your spiritual gifts in the areas of your ministry passion … avoiding ministry stress, boredom and burnout … expanding ministries and extending the church’s reach into the community.”

Today, I am extremely comfortable in my own skin.  I know who God made me be.  I work the Word and the Word works me (learned that from Harry Wendt), and I let the text do the talking … and let it flow through the person created me to be.  You would do well to do the same!


 

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